Being a mama has been an immeasurable blessing, something that not even for one moment, will I ever take for granted. I am passionate about certain aspects of my life....just to name a few....I am passionate about my faith in Christ, my love for my husband, and my role as a mama to my 4 little lovies.
I know that I do not fulfill these roles even vaguely near to perfection....I understand that I am a major work in progress. Only by God's amazing grace can I grow to be more like Jesus. Having said that, being a mama is like wearing a little mirror around my neck all day long.
Let me explain. Have you ever noticed how little ones are like sponges? They seem to take in everything ....and lots of the time, what they take in, you later see coming out. When I see one of my lovies having an issue with a character trait....for instance, being selfish or unkind, I immediately reflect in my mind, and question how I have been acting toward them.
Wow! God opens my eyes wider everyday, helping me to see my sin, especially when my lovies act as a mirror to it. I know God is using my lovies in playing a major role in my sanctification, (just a big word that means the journey a believer is traveling while being made more holy.....in the end God is changing us to be like Christ.)
Having a precious little daughter has been most convicting in helping me to realize the kind of woman God wants me to be.
A few weeks ago I was getting ready to spend an evening with some friends, kind of a farewell get-together. Lauren was in the bathroom with me while I was getting ready. She was sad that her mama was leaving, tears were just streaming down her adorable chubby cheeks, and in between her sobs she kept saying, "I go too? Pweeeeease Mommy?" Talk about breaking my heart.
After I was able to get her to calm down...(I reminded her of the brownie she was allowed to have after dinner...why is it that chocolate can solve so many dilemmas??) Anywho, while I was putting on my makeup she stood there very still...just watching. She stood at my hip, her little hands were resting on the sink and she had her head leaning against them ..... I couldn't help but smile when I looked down at those big gorgeous blue eyes peering up at me.
I picked up my eyeliner and carefully applied it while leaning in towards the mirror. I couldn't help but notice a plump little hand reach for the small brush I had just put down. Lauren took the brush and gently swirled the soft bristles across her cheek exactly as she had seen me do it.
It was one of those special moments for me. A moment I will never forget. Seeing this little girl...this precious little blessing imitating her mama. God spoke volumes in my heart that evening....standing right there in the bathroom with my two year old.
What an honor to be a mama to my daughter....and in the same breath...what an immense responsibility it is to be a mama to my daughter.
God has called me to set an example for this little girl who is going to someday grow up into a woman, (no matter how hard her Daddy tries to keep that from happening!) What a humbling thought....as flawed as I am....God can still use me. My deepest prayer for my daughter is that she will be a woman of God, that she will love Him with her whole heart. I pray that God will bless her to grow up to marry an amazing godly man like her Daddy, and that someday she will be a mama herself.
But as for now....during this beautiful season of motherhood, I will embrace this role that God has blessed me with. And I will cling to Him for wisdom and guidance every day. Lauren will see me fail many times.....and she will also see me clinging to the One who will lift me up, witnessing God's powerful love that He lavishes upon His sons and daughters.