Those eyes......

I always enjoy browsing through my photo library.....and I came across this photo of Nate that I captured recently....and I love it. 

There is something about his eyes....there has always been something behind those deep blue windows. Before he was communicating with words and was deeply struggling with self control.....before we knew he had autism and had so many unanswered questions....I remember searching those eyes.

You know how some people wear their heart on their sleeve? Well, Nate wears his heart through his eyes. As his mama, I can read those eyes so well.....before he shows any physical emotion I know how he is feeling when I look in them. I know when he is overjoyed, I know when he is scared, I know when he is confused, I know when he is angry, I know when he is content.

Eye contact has never been one of Nate's strengths.....but when he does connect those eyes to mine, there is something that moves me deep down to my core.  His verbal skills have improved tremendously over the years, and we are so thankful to God for answered prayer in this area and look forward as Nate matures in his communication. His self expression is much healthier than in the past, and ironically Nate has the most peaceful spirit of all of our lovies. He can still be emotional at times, but it has been by God's grace that he is learning self-control.

When I look in his eyes I can see where he has been and I am patiently waiting to see where God will take him on this journey. One day, not too long ago, Nate and I were sitting really close facing each other. He was fascinated at the color of my eyes, and upon seeing his reflection in mine, he said, "Mommy, I see Nate in there."  Of course that made me smile.